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Overcoming Negativity and Self-Sabotage

Overcoming Negativity and Self-Sabotage

We are creatures of habit, which we can find in the words we speak and the thoughts we think. Sometimes there is a circular pattern, sometimes apparently not. Each of us has a different outlook on life, and there is a clear self-sabotaging pattern if we are habitually negative in our thinking.

Any incident can trigger our negativity. Our sub-conscious stores all our experiences, some nice and others not so nice. Our thinking patterns are triggered whenever we encounter events or situations that have something in common with the past when our thinking was shaped. We often hear these words in our heads: “Because my parents said no”, “Because my teacher said no”, “Because the government said no”, “I’m never going to be able to have that house because I can’t afford it”, and so on.

When we say to ourselves we want something that will make us happy, almost right away the opposite thought comes in and cancels that nice thought out. Sounds familiar?

Quick Self-Test

You can tell if your mental blueprint is positive or negative. Take a look at the list below and see which side you fall in, which words you use most often. Be honest with yourself.


I never


I always


No, I can’t


Yes, I can


It’s impossible


It’s possible


I will try


I do


I give up


I persist, I finish


I cannot


I can


I will not


I will


I will be


I am


maybe


Definite


I don’t


I do


I’m a failure


I learn from my choices

A conversation takes place in your mind with yourself, filled with all your usual blocks and negatives, trying to overpower whatever positivity you can find in yourself. One is positive, one is negative. Which has more power in your life?

A Less Than Satisfied Life

Negativity has always been equated with darkness, and things associated with that. Positivity is always associated with light, joyful living, the good things in life. So in a way, a predominantly negative pattern of thinking can be likened to being asleep. Are you asleep, to what is rightfully yours?

Negativity and self-sabotage rob you of your right to successful, abundant and joyful living. You need to replace this pattern completely. Do away with “no”, “not”, “never”, “can’t”, “impossible”, and work in “yes”, “possible”, “can”, “am”, “good” to your vocabulary.

New age teachers, the video “The Secret”, and motivational speakers exhort us to live in the present, as if we already have what we want. Easier said than done. Why? Because in the conscious state, we have a conscious/sub-conscious disconnect, called the critical filter. Much of our conscious behaviour, and its critical filtering, are shaped by the patterns long established in our past. It is our habitual way of thinking that tells us this may work for others but not for me. So what we hear consciously is really shaped by our sub-conscious patterns.

To most of us, our conscious behaviour seems like it is cast in iron. Why else would it be so difficult to change? “I am the way I am and I can’t change it.” The thing about iron is if you try to hit it with all your might, it is most likely not going to break, and in fact you would be hurting yourself. You would be wasting your time using force on it. But heat the iron to a high temperature and it will melt, and can be re-cast.

We are like that. We can reshape our lives and create the necessary supportive thinking patterns, not by force of our will-power, but by gradual heating and re-casting through our sub-conscious. It takes time, but the changes will happen.

Changing Your Mindset

So take heart. You can change your negative self-sabotaging thinking and behaviour. There are some things you can do to change your mindset. They are small things, but like all beginnings we need to take small steps.

You can constantly check your ‘rear-view mirror’ for your thoughts. Consider how you feel about something, and catch the feeling before it becomes a thought-conversation in your mind. Remember that your feelings are your sub-conscious talking to you.

Replace a negative feeling with a positive feeling that makes you feel happy or good. If you find yourself in a mental thought-conversation observe how that makes you feel.

Practice visualising your goals and dreams, what makes you happy, proud of yourself (not arrogant), and feel alive. Bring feeling into your visualisation. You may not be able to visualise clearly but the feeling makes it all the more powerful.

Practice finding good things in bad situations. Don’t pass judgement on others, but see the good in them. Learn to see things from the other person’s perspective, what they may be feeling.

Compliment people on things that would make them feel happy. Volunteer your help for simple things that make you feel alive, part of society. Like helping an old lady cross the road, pressing the elevator door for others to move in and out, or buy the beggar a hot cup of coffee. Remember when you put out your good feelings and others feel them, those good feelings will be reciprocated. You’d be surprised just how quickly your life will turn around.

The Role of Feelings

The most important thing to realise is it’s all about your feelings. Your sub-conscious rules you and communicates with you through feelings, reminding you of good or bad feelings when you face situations every day. When you hear the news, do you feel good or do you feel frightened? Or do you see an opportunity to make a killing even if some people will become hapless victims?

These triggers of memories and their associated feelings work so quickly that we don’t even realise it when and how they are being triggered. That’s how fast the human mind works. It is a wonderful thing, but it is a two-edged sword.

We are far more complex than the rational creatures we are supposed to be, as the rational philosophers would have us believe. The rationality usually comes up when we justify our actions, words and thoughts: “I did that because …”

Rather, we are multi-faceted emotional creatures. Why else would we be so often tripped up by our emotions? This is not to say that we should excuse ourselves, being ruled by our emotions. It would be a terrible world if were ruled by rage, anger and hatred. Far from it. When we are happy, healthy and living abundantly, we are far more rational and have greater awareness and clarity of thinking. We thrive and prosper, and make our greatest achievements. Negativity, in fact, robs us of our common sense rationality and power.

Make Your Change, Through Hypnotherapy

Don’t you deserve to be free from the mould that events and situations of your past placed you are in? Do you want to continue feeling powerless? Don’t you deserve to be living a joyful and rich life? Then don’t let yourself down. Decide to change. You have nothing to lose, but all the world to gain.

Some things may be so deeply embedded in your sub-conscious that no matter how hard you try to be observant and aware of your negativity, you just can’t seem to change it. Get help if you can’t manage or don’t know how to change.

Hypnotherapy is a very suitable vehicle for change, as it connects you with your sub-conscious. Through hypnotherapy you will bypass the critical filter and recall all your memories and experiences. When you are in the sub-conscious hypnotic, you are able to create blueprints for a more positive pattern of thinking. So see a hypnotherapist.

The road to a complete change in thinking pattern can be a very long one. You can use self-hypnosis as a supporting tool, so you can reinforce the work that you and your hypnotherapist do together. Ask your hypnotherapist if she can teach you self-hypnosis techniques.

Would you want to remove negativity from your life become a natural Optimist?

Hypnotherapy is a very effective and permanent solution to your problems. When you require my assistance, please do not hesitate further and contact me.

There are 3 ways to contact me:
1. Call: +65 6272 7118
2. Email: nancyho@hypnosisoneonone.com
3. Skype ID: empowernancy

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